I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
