i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize