Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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