Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
