No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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