If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
