i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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