whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
