So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
