Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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