she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
