Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
