I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
