hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You dont lie about slip and slides
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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