i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i think i have herpe
just one?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Randomize
