she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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