I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just had sex bonerless
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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