We won't sleep together?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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