i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize