i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
