I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
