White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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