I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize