She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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