I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
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