rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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