I wanna passion pit in your ass
Is it because I queefed?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
