woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
