dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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