This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Randomize
