thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
