Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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