ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
