You're so nebulous sometimes
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Randomize
