it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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