i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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