would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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