You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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