escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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