Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
