he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize