just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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