i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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