dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
