The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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