I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
