then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
no, he came in my armpit
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize