Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
