i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
