If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
