I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
