I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
