My first STD was from a foam party
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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