med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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