I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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