when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
