I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
