He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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