Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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